Last week something snapped inside of me. The perspective I held was flipped 180-degrees and I saw that I had been looking at my problem entirely the wrong way.
“Don’t give up on your dreams,” people always tell us. The implication being that if we have a dream, the only socially-acceptable option is to hold on to that dream until you bring it into reality.
Know what? Sometimes are dreams are just bad ideas. We may want to be someone that we are badly suited to being. We may crave something that isn’t actually going to make our lives better, that isn’t good for us. We might not even have thought things through properly to begin with.
There was a gnawing dis-sastisfaction within me that has been kicking around for months. I could see the problem clearly enough. I could see an effective solution to the problem clearly enough, too. Yet I left the sense of unhappiness right where it was, because the solution to my problem meant giving up on one of my dreams. And the thought of that hurt like Hell.
Last week was when the problem re-phrased itself to me.
- That dream of mine? It is going to die anyway. I do not have the time and resources to salvage it.
- That dream of mine that is going to die anyway? I do not actually want to salvage it. By passively ignoring -rather than rushing to solve the problem(s) – I’m manifesting my gut feelings.
- That dream of mine that I am passively ignoring? It isn’t the key to my happiness. Happiness comes into my life when I am proactive. It doesn’t matter what I’m being proactive about: it could be acquiring a foreign language, soliciting freelance work (even as I struggle to obtain enough money to feed myself), going to parties to meet new people. I am miserable when Life forcefully happens to me: I am happy when I forcefully happen to Life. The dreams aren’t the most important thing after all.
If I do not have the inclination to salvage my dream (which I don’t believe that I do) I should be proactive about stopping it. That firstly means admitting to myself that my dream has caused problems and made me unhappy. From there onwards it is all about moving forwards.